He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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