WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You can't motorboat a personality
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
