kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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