R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
"it" just moved
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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