sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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