I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
