So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
