she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
