Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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