she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
