Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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