508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
