Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
