it wasn't lemon gatorade
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
