I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
