i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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