I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
a search helicopter?!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I lost the right to judge tonight
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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