If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!