every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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