yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”