So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
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THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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