I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
