2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
