The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize