i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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