im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I am spending my child support on dildos
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
