its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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