so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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