Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
