Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
All the doctor said was why
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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