So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just high enough for therapy.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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