hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize