Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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