I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize