Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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