I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
