Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
