the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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