We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
