like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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