I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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