I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
