Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
