u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
