Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
