I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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