How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
