Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
