69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
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just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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