READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
