She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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