I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
