There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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