Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
