Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
