I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
