i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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