If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
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Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
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We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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