Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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